Hey, I'm incendiary too, man!

“What would [the better version of you] be doing now?” “She wouldn’t be here right now.”

I’ve never had sex with someone without it turning into something serious or without there being a prolonged state of the “Hey we’re sorta dating but not really dating,” type of thing.
That type of thing is my favorite by the way, I always try to make that last as long as I possibly can because it frees me from having to think about the future and having real responsibility but it still leaves me with someone to cuddle with at night that I know I can trust but now I’m realizing that men just seem to see that as irresponsible…or something.

I know that men think I’m lying when I tell them that I don’t sleep around or that “I don’t usually do this type of thing,” but I’m not. Each situation has been unique and I’ve done what I’ve done with each after throughly playing the situations out in my head and making sure it was something I really wanted to do. (I mean I do have to live with myself after all) Thing is, being a girl my age, who’s so open about sex and who has lots of male friends and an equal amount of men who are interested in me makes anything I say pretty much unbelievable.

But I’ve never had sex with someone without it turning into something, anything.
I’ve had sex with people too quickly, I’m sort of the queen of moving too quickly and honestly that has never bothered me, or back fired and I know I’m extremely lucky for that. I’ve just kinda accepted that thats just the way it is for me but the thing is that I’ve also kinda just taken it upon myself that these men, that I think are “worthy” enough to sleep with me, will also be the men who will end up wanting to be with me etc.

This holds true with EVERY single man except for this last one. I only had sex with him once and I honestly really liked him. I really enjoyed his company and I know he really enjoyed mine too but we quickly made the decision not to be “anything” and it’s weird. It’s partly my stubbornness and partly his fears of our very different lifestyles that lead to the choice. I’m not upset about it really, it’s just very weird to me to think that I had sex with someone, talked for about a month and then that was that. It’s an odd feeling to not have a whole relationship or courtship surrounding it and I really have a feeling that he feels the same way about it. It’s odd because we like each other (or at least I liked him) but the circumstances make it so that was pretty much never an option.

I know people have sex with someone like for one night and then don’t talk to them ever again and that’s normal to them but thats never something I want to do and despite what people may think that’s not what I’m about at all. It’s kinda funny that I’ve become so cocky that I just assume any man I sleep with will instantly want to be in a relationship with me though. haha I feel like I really should be down on myself for having sex so quickly and this one time not turning into something but I’m really just honestly not at all. I’m just totally okay with it. It’s just strange in the “Hey there’s a first time for everything!” kinda way.

Party on Garth.